


The Great Chat of 2017

by smellslikecitrus



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dolokhov is iMPORTANT TO ME, Drunk Character(s), F/F, F/M, Great Comet/Hamilton crossover, I love Peggy, Light Angst, M/M, Sonya Is Good, Underage Drinking (mentioned), first fic, i was bored, idk I wanted this, john is a tertle, now with plot!, sorry for this, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-03 03:55:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 6,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smellslikecitrus/pseuds/smellslikecitrus
Summary: tertle: whoa i just got here whats going onBaguette: dRAMAYeah idk either I guess I wanted to join in on the fun. Also I wanted to write something where the characters of Hamilton and GC could interact and this is what I came up with. Good luck





	1. new kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tertle: whoa i just got here whats going on,,,
> 
>  
> 
> Baguette: dRAMA

Baguette has created _not big enough for the both of us_

 

_Baguette has added mulliGONE, spam, tertle, Elizard, angle, red, and meme to not big enough for the both of us_

 

Baguette: my name is now Inigo Montoya. you may all bow.

 

angle: what is this

 

Elizard: ha

 

Baguette: dRAMA

 

_mulliGONE has added cold_

 

cold: nope

 

_cold has removed cold from not big enough for the both of us_

 

Baguette: ok so. theres some new people in town and one of them looks just like our very own cinnamon roll

 

meme: *X Files Theme Song*

 

Elizard: oml pegs stahp

 

Elizard: yea i heard the tall blond one call her Natalie

 

spam: IK WHO UR TALKING ABOUT!!! SHES FROM ~russia~

 

meme: **FRICKIN RUSSIANS**

 

angle: not now pegs

 

spam: ur such a meme. her name was natasha, her friend called her that. i think her friends name is sonya or smthg? and theres so much drama in that group oml

 

Baguette: dRAMA

 

meme: shut. also i heard her name in roll call and its natalya rostova.

 

meme: the tol blond one who looks like a messed up ken doll is Anatole

 

Elizard: OMG UR RIGHT HAHAHA

 

angle: groTESQUE AND AMAZIng

 

tertle: whoa i just got here whats going on,,,

 

Baguette: dRAMA

 

mulliGONE: Read the other texts. I know the whole story and I will explain in a moment.

 

meme: you know everything ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

mulliGONE: ,,,Yes

 

mulliGONE: Ok so. Apparently, Natasha or whatever her name is, was dating this guy, Andrey. Andrey then went away to a private school for a year, and Natasha promised to wait for him. She and Sonya were staying with their aunt, Marya D, and while there, they met Anatole and his weird little sidekick that’s so in love with him it’s painful, Dolokhov. (Actually his name is Fedya [or Teddy, ha] but they call him by his last name).

 

meme: TEDDY

 

spam: TEDDY

 

tertle: TEDDY

 

Elizard: TEDDY

 

Baguette: “so in love with him it’s painful” remind you of someone petite lion?

 

spam: stfu laf istg

 

tertle: alex likes someone?

 

spam: no its nothing theyre just being annoying

 

Baguette: dRAMA

 

meme: ANYway mulligan continue

 

mulliGONE: Natasha meets Anatole and then he gets an idea that he will “steal her away” or some shit like that. Dolokhov, meanwhile, is trying to dissuade this from happening, so he teams up with Sonya and they stop all that from going down. Marya D threatens Anatole, and he leaves, but apparently now he’s back.

 

red: hey y’all what’d i miss

 

spam: shut up don’t be TJeffs hes stupid and doesn’t need to be brought to this holy place

 

meme: “holy place”

 

mulliGONE: SOOOO now there’s more drama in that friend group. Oh also I forgot to mention that Dolokhov and their other friend, Pierre, who’s dating Anatole’s sister, who is cheating on Pierre with an unknown person(?) got into a fight in the park while Anatole and Hélène (A’s sister) were watching and Pierre's also friends with Sonya and Natasha and Marya D plus other stuff that I'll explain to you guys in person. 

 

meme: wow

 

Baguette: dRAMA!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and constructive feedback welcome! Idrk how this will turn out so...


	2. hey new kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Sonya are here

_Baguette has added pure and iamgood to not big enough for the both of us_

 

Baguette: hey everyone, i got natasha and sonyas numbers so here they are

 

pure: hello, I'm Natasha

 

iamgood: hi Natasha, I am good

 

meme: i like her

 

angle: hi new kids! im angelica and Elizard is my sister Eliza and meme is my sister Peggy ignore her she's such a meme, hence her name

 

meme: i like girls

 

iamgood: o ym g od me too!!!!¡¡1!!

 

spam: gayyy

 

tertle: yes thats me im gay gtgtgtg

 

pure: who are you guys… spam and tertle?

 

spam: im alex and tertle is john.

 

mulliGONE: And I'm Hercules Mulligan but you guys can call me Herc or Mulligan

 

mulliGONE: Please don't sing any of the songs I've heard them all from the rest of these asshats I call “friends.”

 

pure: songs?

 

meme: you guys dont know Disney?

 

iamgood: sadly, no. We lived out in the country in Russia, and yes we speak English we've been to the US sometimes with Natasha’s father

 

meme: I HAVE TO SHOW YOU DISNEY. ESPECIALLY MULAN BC MAN-MAKING LESSGO

 

angle: that's not what that means

 

meme: LETS HAVE A GET TOGETHER AT THE SCHUYLER PLACE ILL SEE YOU GUYS AROUND AT SCHOOL K? K

 

pure: sorry but we don't know you guys very well. We’ll have to ask Marya

 

iamgood: says the girl who almost ran off with a guy she knew for 3 days

 

angle: 3 days? I'm impressed. 

 

pure: we don't speak of that,,,,,,,, I'll go ask Marya

 

iamgood: (Marya likes her better)

 

Baguette: so I have been quiet for this time may I speak

 

meme: go ahead

 

Baguette: I am very excited for this movie and I hope everyone can join us

 

spam: well that was nice I was expecting something weird

 

Baguette: I'll go find John and Maria and Thomas

 

spam: DONT YOU DARE 

 

Baguette: how you say,,, jk

 

spam: you know how to say jk you overgrown french fry

 

Baguette: gtgtgtgtg

 

pure: Marya says yes! She thinks it's good for us to make new friends apparently so see you there!

 

iamgood: yup see ya

 

red: movie night at Schuyler’s?! YAS

 

red: see u there Liza ;*

 

Elizard: stop I'm blushing

 

spam: gayyy

 

Elizard: so this is why ur spam huh 

 

meme: that was an Eliza Burn™ good job Eliza

 

spam: I am wOUNDed

 

tertle: oh poor baby need some water for that burn? See y'all @ schuylers’!

 

spam: you just twist the knife, Laurens

 

_PM between spam and tertle_

 

spam: john are you mad at me

 

spam: john

 

spam: john

 

spam: jonn

 

tertle: no its fine ok

 

spam: is this about that Thing?

 

tertle: no!

 

tertle: …yes

 

spam: look I'm sorry okay? Where can I find you I need to talk to you

 

tertle: no don't be sorry, i,,, uh, kinda liked it. but i cant have my dad finding out. i hope you understand

 

spam: where are you

 

tertle: library

 

_not big enough for the both of us_

 

angle: ok see everyone at 6?

 

iamgood: yep! See you then!


	3. movie night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night! And I added some plot just for fun so be ready..

angle: so we're starting w Mulan, then Hercules, then Lion King, then Princess and the Frog

 

spam: then Moana don't forget Moana

 

angle: ok

 

meme: won't that be kinda late? Like ik we have extra rooms and people will prob stay over but

 

angle: it's a weekend night. We’re all good

 

iamgood: me especially

 

meme: wow. ur gooood

 

iamgood: i know

 

pure: I almost forgot to ask, can you guys send us the address?

 

Elizard: _directions_here.pdf_

 

pure: k thx

 

spam: AYEM BRINGING SUGAR

 

tertle: SUGARRRRR

 

Baguette: SUgAR

 

mulliGONE: yesss

 

iamgood: ok so I'm assuming u like sugar

 

Baguette: OUI. OUI OUI OUI

 

pure: I'll bake cookies

 

Elizard: I'll bake brownies

 

pure: we are alike

 

meme: *X-Files Theme Song*

 

angle: tru tho

 

tertle: so alex and i need to tell y'all something important

 

spam: ~~~important~~~

 

Baguette: I KNEW IT MES AMIS I KNEW IT

 

Baguette: HERC SEE I TOLD YOU

 

tertle: no no no um

 

tertle: so we decided that um

 

spam: pretty much we are creating an LGBTQ+ club at school

 

Baguette: so you two didn't..

 

tertle: no :/

 

spam: how dare you Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette

 

tertle: whoa the full name ur in trouble now laf

 

Baguette: …

 

Baguette: still betting it'll happen

 

iamgood: why did you guys just decide to make this? wasnt there something before?

 

tertle: nope. the principal is really stupid, John Adams.

 

spam: the bEST teacher EvEr is Mr. Washington and he just--- he actually somehow understand teens. Hes helping us create the club. Its gonna be so fun

 

angle: yea he's a really good teacher

 

Elizard: i second that. He once brought one of his dogs to class to teach the kids about equality. Idrk what the lesson was bc I was paying attention to the dog but he's great

 

meme: pUPPY

 

Baguette: omg i love GWash hes my dad

 

spam: dont do that

 

tertle: hes alex’s dad too even if he doesnt accept it

 

spam: IM NOT HIS SON

 

mulliGONE: Yes you are.

 

angle: yes u r

 

spam: shut up

 

pure: WERE HERE

 

iamgood: yes she brought cookies

 

Elizard: the brownies are almost done

 

Baguette: SUGAR

 

spam: SUUUUUGGGGARRRR

 

red: hold on! im almost there! dont let Alex eat all the cookies

 

spam: :P

 

red: im stuck in traffic. some asshole is holding up the line

 

red: omigod

 

Elizard: what??!

 

red: thats Jay behind me hes getting out of his car

 

Elizard: lock the doors! How did he know it was you?!!

 

red: one sec

 

Elizard: Maria?

 

red: its ok i pulled away and did a U turn and got outta there

 

Elizard: thank god

 

iamgood: whos Jay

 

spam: Jay Reynolds: resident asshole

 

spam: Maria used to date him and he.. it didn't go well

 

spam: shes with Eliza tho now so

 

red: im here!

 

Elizard: now we can eat the cookies and brownies

 

spam: sssss

 

angle: don't do it

 

spam: ssSSSSUGAR

 

spam: OW SHE SMACKED ME ELIZAAA

 

Elizard: settle down children

 

meme: MULAN YEAS

 

mulliGONE: I'm silencing my phone don't try to interrupt this movie opportunity.

 

Baguette: shh


	4. adoption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little bit longer but... I added Dolokhov so..?

Baguette has changed the chat name to _the Great Chat of 2017_

 

spam: y

 

Baguette: becuase

 

mulliGONE: You spelled that wrong.

 

Baguette: sO wAhT

 

mulliGONE: I'm done. 

 

mulliGONE has changed their name to mulliDONE

 

tertle: so petty

 

pure: Hey guys so I was wondering if we could add a drunk Dolokhov because it's hilarious and I want all of you to experience that

 

tertle: how did he get alcohol

 

pure: he has his ways

 

_pure has added IMPORTANT_

 

pure: hi D

 

IMPORTANT: y ami haer

 

pure: what were you just telling me about Anatole?

 

IMPORTANT: oooohsjd. Hesso pretty ahd ilike hi s eggs anf evrkfing abut hin

 

meme: eggs

 

iamgood: haha does he mean eyes?

 

IMPORTANT: wh why yoi gota d rag mehliek tihs

 

pure: translations: “he’s so pretty and I like his eyes and everything about him. Why you gotta drag me like this.”

 

Baguette: omg hes a cute drunk

 

IMPORTANT: IM IMPROFANT K’

 

iamgood: he's self-conscious

 

IMPORTANT: nuH

 

IMPORTANT: naatoles so ctue i jus wanna hu ghim mayb ksis himm. IM NTO CRYNIG URR. CRIYNG

 

iamgood: translation: “Anatole’s so cute I just want to hug him maybe kiss him. IM NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING”

 

pure: so pure™

 

spam: where did Herc and Laf go

 

spam: oooooooooooh

 

spam: Angelica you owe me $20

 

angle: welp. ‘Twas gonna happen eventually

 

meme: “‘Twas”

 

angle: shut

 

meme: im still laughing about eggs

 

iamgood: D’s actually v v affectionate but he won't let any1 see it

 

IMPORTANT: //////////////////////////////hI

 

meme: good lord

 

meme: ive made up my mind i am now adopting Dolokhov

 

meme: his name shall now be Schuyler

 

IMPORTANT: MAMA

 

meme: ………….im sobbing

 

angle: better go take care of ur kid pegs

 

meme: where is he anyway

 

iamgood: hes w me and Nat

 

iamgood: can I be his other mom

 

meme: ofc

 

meme: send ur location im driving over

 

iamgood: _im_here_come_get_him.jpg_

 

meme: nice google maps thank

 

iamgood: np

 

_PM between meme and iamgood_

 

meme: hey… I kinda really like you. 

 

iamgood: :D I kinda really like you too

 

meme: thank god. Wanna go out sometime?

 

iamgood: sure! where?

 

meme: how about a movie?

 

iamgood: sounds perfect! send me the details later tho

 

meme: done

 

_the Great Chat of 2017_

 

tertle: no one has said anything for 10 minutes where is everyone

 

spam: here

 

Baguette: here

 

Elizard: here

 

red: here

 

tertle: well ok then

 

_PM between spam and tertle_

 

spam: hey john…

 

tertle: alex…

 

spam: im really proud of all our work that were doing for this school

 

tertle: me too alex

 

spam: where are you?

 

tertle: at the park. Why?

 

spam: I need to see you

 

spam: I have to know… do you like me?

 

tertle: look,,

 

spam: bc I really like you and I know that maybe kissing you earlier may have crossed a line and I don't want that to change anything between us if it turns out you don't like me back. Ik you said you liked it but that doesn't mean it's ok for me to just spring it on you like that

 

tertle: alex. its good. Really. Find me.

 

tertle: and. i like u too silly


	5. announcements and frickin' alcoholics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added Anatole and Pierre, and some of the ships have sailed  
> Some angst and a we see a little bit of a compassionate Natasha..

meme: Sonya and i have smthg to sayy

 

iamgood: we've come such a long wayy

 

angle: when ur sister and her gf are dedicated memers^

 

meme: 1) thats not a meme,,

 

meme: 2)

 

meme: YOU KNOWW?!?!?!!!???

 

angle: *snape voice* obviously

 

meme: welp

 

iamgood: cool

 

spam: wOW JOHN AND US TOO

 

tertle: good going on announcing that

 

tertle: also its john and i*

 

Baguette: !!!!!!!1!!!!! HERC MON AMOR YOU OWE ME $30

 

mulliDONE: I'm just humoring you I knew they’d get together. 

 

tertle: laf just outed ur guys’ ship

 

angle: called it

 

angle: thrice

 

meme: “thrice”

 

angle: *sigh*

 

IMPORTANT: wait so I'm adopted now

 

meme: SON

 

iamgood: SON

 

IMPORTANT: I don't know half of my parents

 

meme: getting to knooow you, getting to knoow whaaat to sayy

 

angle: welcome back to the living Dolokhov

 

IMPORTANT: was I ranting last night

 

spam: yes

 

tertle: about anatole, yes

 

IMPORTANT: uh sorry about that

 

meme: NO ITS OK MY SON DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO

 

IMPORTANT: I'm older than you

 

meme: not mentally

 

IMPORTANT: ok #tru

 

red: so Liza and i just saw Jay but he looked scared to come up to me?

 

Elizard: my gf is scary in her bright red lipstick

 

red: :)

 

Elizard: :)

 

meme: :)

 

iamgood: :)

 

Baguette: :)

 

mulliDONE: :)

 

spam: :)

 

tertle: :)

 

IMPORTANT: :)

 

pure: :)

 

angle: oh for gods sake

 

angle: :)

 

[1 day later]

 

IMPORTANT: hahaha ok so

 

Baguette: i neED TO KNOW THE dRAMA

 

IMPORTANT: I'm w Sonya and Peggy

 

Baguette: uh-huh.

 

IMPORTANT: and Natasha has been texting us…

 

spam: just spit it out jfc

 

IMPORTANT: Anatole has found my parents stash of booze. And. He's been texting Nat. And. I really want to see it

 

pure: I'm adding him

 

_pure has added Hawt_

 

Hawt: IM HOT

 

Hawt: HELLLLO

 

Hawt: this is Pierre. I took his phone. He's off his face. 

 

pure: I'm adding you. Put A back on

 

_pure has added dead_

 

dead: hey

 

Baguette: bonjour et bien venue

 

dead: ew French. 

 

Baguette: frENCH IS cuLTURED and GOOD

 

iamgood: so am i

 

dead: old joke sorry. I hated Napoleon when I was little

 

Baguette: it's okay you are forgiven. 

 

Hawt: MI BAK

 

IMPORTANT: heyy there, buddy! How are you?

 

Hawt: P TOOK MA JUIEC

 

IMPORTANT: he took your juice?

 

Hawt: !!ye!!!!

 

meme: well give him his juice back!

 

IMPORTANT: why was he at my house? Why were you at my house??

 

Hawt: I WA S LOOKING DOR U

 

dead: he called me. Drunk. So I came. Then he asked for 50 rubles? How does he even know what those are?

 

IMPORTANT: idk he's weird

 

iamgood: pegs and I are stealing D’s phone till later sorry. were bONDING

 

meme: yEAh

 

IMPORTANT: bye

 

dead: help

 

Baguette: where are the others?

 

Elizard: ange maria and I are just watching this unfold

 

red: hahaha

 

Hawt: HI

 

angle: hi ken

 

Hawt: DAT S WHAT DOLOKOVH CAEDLL Me

 

dead: nope I'm not doing this. Nat can you come pick us up please

 

pure: ask Hélène

 

dead: 

 

dead: id rather not

 

pure: are you guys OK?

 

_PM between dead and pure_

 

dead: no we’re not. I know she's cheating on me

 

dead: probably with more than 1 guy

 

dead: it sucks, you know? But at the same time I feel like I have a chance at.. real love or something like that

 

pure: I think I understand. That's terrible, what she's doing to you though. 

 

pure: Are you going to end it?

 

dead: ..yeah. I think I am. 

 

pure: Okay, whatever feels right. Remember what you said to me after… the Incident? 

 

dead: that you can count on me even tho I'm Andrey’s friend? Yeah..

 

pure: Well, same goes for you. You can count on me. 

 

dead: thank you. I really appreciate it

 

pure: Anytime, P. I'll be there in 10.


	6. have you seen this dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George's dog is gone. Basically me projecting, except I gave these guys a happy ending.

Baguette: EVERYONE LISTEN UP

 

spam: what is it its 5 in the morning

 

Baguette: what are you doing up..?

 

Baguette: actually nEVER MIND

 

Baguette: I need help mes amis

 

Baguette: George’s dog is missing. He's been gone for the whole night. I didn't want to wake anyone but I really need all the help I can get to find this dog

 

spam: dogs have no sense of self-preservation

 

tertle: turtles are better

 

spam: biased

 

Baguette: nOT NOW TURTLE DOVES

 

spam: love birds?

 

tertle: bbg shhhh

 

tertle: what's his name?

 

Baguette: Gilbert

 

tertle: he named his dog after u?

 

Baguette: noT RELEVANT RN

 

spam: where was he last seen

 

Baguette: I do not know I was at Herc’s

 

Baguette: I came home and he was gone!

 

Baguette: George has been searching all night and Martha has been waiting at the phone after driving around

 

Baguette: he looks like this:

 

Baguette: _sweet_puppy_mon_cher.jpg_

 

tertle: aw

 

spam: shiiit its really hot outside

 

spam: he must be really dehydrated

 

spam: hes prob at someones house or the animal shelter or smthg

 

tertle: wouldn't the shelter call

 

spam: its after hours

 

tertle: they will call in the morning it's ok laf tell george the same thing

 

Baguette: thank you I've been up all night I am afraid I'm quite exhausted

 

spam: go to sleep laf

 

tertle: go to sleep alex

 

Baguette: go to sleep John

 

[4 hours later]

 

angle: wow that was intense

 

Elizard: I'm just waiting to see if anyone has called

 

meme: pUPPY

 

red: i hope hes ok

 

red: also,,, laf lives w gwash???!

 

meme: he probably is. hes a smart thing for a dumb dog

 

angle: that sentence didn't make sense

 

meme: shhh yes it did

 

angle: •__•

 

red: ????????

 

Elizard: yeah he lives with Washington

 

mulliDONE: I'm calling Laf right now. 

 

mulliDONE: He's not picking up, I'll let him sleep. 

 

Hawt: fuck, marry, kill: Chris Pratt, Chris Pine, Chris Evans

 

meme: nOt ThE cHrIsEs

 

iamgood: YoU fOrGoT hEmSwOrTh

 

pure: worst timing

 

Hawt: :0 o no I did soz hemsworth

 

Hawt: well???? f, m, k??

 

_pure has removed Hawt from the Great Chat of 2017_

 

iamgood: damn

 

meme: hey babe where r u

 

iamgood: Marya D’s y

 

_IMPORTANT has added Hawt to the Great Chat of 2017_

 

meme: coming

 

Hawt: that's what she said

 

meme: shut ur foul mouth boi 

 

iamgood: hoW LEWD

 

pure: Dolokhov istg

 

IMPORTANT: ;)

 

Hawt: thanks mon cher

 

meme: hEs NoT eVeN fReNcH

 

iamgood: “lend me 50 rubles”

 

dead: just about to say that

 

Hawt: Pierre how dARE you

 

Hawt: you dUmPED HÉLÈNE

 

_Hawt has added Charmante_

 

dead: Anatole I hate you

 

Charmante: oh hellllllooo everyone

 

Elizard: uh oh

 

pure: uh oh

 

meme: should i do it

 

angle: dRAMA

 

meme: get out


	7. dRAMA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit shorter than normal,, I added Hélène yay

Charmante: hello pierre

 

dead: …

 

Charmante: stop treating me like im dead

 

Charmante: im not pierre IM RIGHT HERE

 

pure: hey Hélène

 

Charmante: hey pretty

 

pure: …

 

Charmante: silent treatment huh

 

mulliDONE: So Laf has found Gilbert!

 

mulliDONE: He's safe at George’s.

 

Elizard: Laf or the dog

 

meme: pUPPY

 

mulliDONE: Both.

 

Charmante: i need introductions

 

pure: I'm young 

 

iamgood: i am good

 

Hawt: IM HAWT

 

IMPORTANT: I like to think of myself as ~fierce~

 

dead: dear bewildered and awkward

 

dead: dead*

 

angle: *whispers* almost as if they rehearsed it

 

meme: *X-Files Theme Song*

 

Elizard: ...ok that warrants it

 

Charmante: i know all the former russian idiots i need the rest

 

mulliDONE: 1, 2, 3: werk werk

 

angle: AN JELLY CAH

 

mulliDONE: Werk werk

 

Elizard: eLIZAAAAAH

 

meme: and peGGy

 

mulliDONE: Damnit Peggy you're too fast at typing.

 

meme: ;) plus

 

mulliDONE: hercULES MULLIGAN

 

meme: the schuyler sisters!

 

mulliDONE: Plus hercULES MULLIGAN

 

angel: yes and I'm the oldest AND the wittiest;) just so you know

 

Charmante: i can already picture u

 

_angle has changed their name to angel_

 

angel: ofc you can *hair flip* I'm fabulous

 

meme: ewwww flirting

 

angel: I had to put up with you and Sonya!

 

meme: maybe but we were subtle

 

iamgood: honey we were the least subtle people ever

 

iamgood: “i like girls” “omg me too”

 

meme: so subtle

 

[2 hours later]

 

Hawt: ik this was a while ago but… what does bbg mean?

 

angel: it's their type of kinky u wouldnt understand

 

meme: im kinkshaming

 

Baguette: it's baby girl (¬‿¬)

 

spam: cmon laf u ruin everything

 

tertle: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

 

spam: did u just finger gun urself

 

tertle: ☜(˚▽˚)☞

 

spam: im breaking up w u

 

tertle: love you too


	8. fav fighting french fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK SO: I am leading up to a kinda big part so this chapter is a little bit shorter.

_Revolutionary Set_

 

mulliDONE: Look what I found in my camera roll:

 

mulliDONE: [_laf_dancing_so_cute.gif_](https://68.media.tumblr.com/b8228a8cc6ebfb075d3ce6f9daa505cd/tumblr_np0rrmV7a21qmtxuwo1_400.gif)

 

Baguette: how did you get that... was that Ben Tallmadge who gave you that??

 

mulliDONE: I have my ways. Tallboy may or may not have something to do with it. Or Brewster, ya never know.. 

 

spam: OMG IS THAT

 

tertle: IT IS

 

Baguette: look,,, 

 

tertle: looks good Laf

 

Baguette: ..thanks

 

mulliDONE: What about the costume I made the costume???

 

spam: Herc. so good. idk how u do it. its really historically accurate too so that makes me happy:))

 

tertle: ¡¡¡es muy bien, estás talentoso!!!

 

Baguette: oh look now he's blushing thanks guys

 

Baguette: but pls this stays between us and.. maybe Peggy can know too. Just don't spread it around bc Charles bullied me a bit after I wore that

 

spam: charles… lee?

 

Baguette: yes ,

 

spam: when. was. this.

 

Baguette: uh like a year ago

 

spam: ...uhuh

 

Baguette: really doesn’t matter he's not my friend anymore

 

[1 hour later]

 

spam: just out of curiosity,, what lunch does lee have?

 

tertle: C lunch

 

tertle: … alex no u can't get into anymore fights

 

spam: watch me

 

_PM between tertle and spam_

 

tertle: ill do it

 

spam: i cant let you do that

 

tertle: and i cant have you suspended

 

spam: ill stand with you. 

 

tertle: i know

 

_Revolutionary Set_

 

spam: fine i wont

 

tertle: thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That gif of Brian Wiles dancing in his uniform gIVES ME LIFE


	9. how... charming;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter before the fight, I wanted the previous chapters to be on the weekend so.. here ya go.  
> Also this chapter *accidentally* turned into puns so if you enjoy that... You're wELcome

Charmante: NATASHA WHY DID YOUNIGNORE ME

 

pure: What

 

Charmante: i waVed and yElled at u but nooo u couldn't say hi

 

pure: Where was this

 

Charmante: lunchroom

 

Elizard: Yea……… that was me

 

Charmante: h- how

 

meme: *X-Files Theme Song*

 

Elizard: I wondered who yelled charming at me but I ignored it bc I didn't know who it was. Sorry.

 

Charmante: ...im still.. wow. you guys really look alike

 

iamgood: *X-Files Theme Song*

 

meme: sonya why

 

meme: go away

 

meme: evry1 go away

 

angel: hey! don't pinch me I didn't do anything!

 

Elizard: Yeah natasha and I are clones

 

iamgood: go ahead love

 

meme: !!!thank babe¡¡¡

 

meme: *X-Files Theme Song*

 

Charmante: so sonya found her match i c

 

meme: ;)

 

Charmante: cute

 

iamgood: im not sharing leave this place

 

meme: aw

 

tertle: u 2 are disgusting i love it

 

spam: hey john

 

tertle: what alex

 

spam: u thinking what im thinking

 

tertle: competition

 

spam: i love how were always on the same page<3

 

angel: I'm referee

 

iamgood: what is this

 

meme: they want a face off and we will win

 

meme: or text off i guess

 

angel: begin!

 

spam: ¡john, te adoro, te quiero!

 

angel: solo inglés por favor

 

spam: fine

 

tertle: i love him, i know him, he loves me only. he’ll come to me one day and take me away... i want nothing more

 

spam: i want nothing more ;)

 

iamgood: mhmm is that all u got

 

meme: bring out the weapons babe

 

iamgood: i gotchu

 

iamgood: im quite fawned of u my deer

 

meme: i think ur suffering from a lack of vitamin me

 

iamgood: ur my butter half

 

meme: if u were a fruit ud be a fineapple

 

angel: *groans* those are valid, nut peas cut the puns.

 

meme: thx ange

 

spam: i object, the referee is biased

 

angel: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

spam: oh god its getting worse

 

meme: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

spam: i hate u ಠ_ಠ

 

tertle: alex no

 

spam: alex yes (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･

 

meme: sonya weve Turned™ another one

 

_iamgood has changed their name to damnweregood_

 

meme: hell yea

 

angel: ew turn it back I can't bear seaing the name like that

 

meme: weve created a monster

 

_damnweregood has changed their name to iamgod_

 

iamgod: close enough


	10. fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in sUUUUMMMMMMERRRRRR!!!! Yes it's finally here!!!! I'm excited, I have a lot of things planned (not that anyone cares :P) But here's the chapter I promised:)

[Monday afternoon]

 

_the Great Chat of 2017_

 

Hawt: was that Alex I just saw running down the hallway

 

Hawt: damn he's fast

 

Hawt: oh look there's John

 

Hawt: he waved

 

Baguette: alEX WHAT THE HELL

 

Baguette: yOU sAiD YOU WOULDNT

 

spam: yes exactly thats wyy im not figting him

 

meme: “figting”

 

angel: Alex wtf how are u texting while running

 

spam: pegs i resent that, ange just trust me it's kot pretty

 

Hawt: it's really not

 

iamgod: what fight

 

Baguette: ALEX, JE VAIS VOUS TUER

 

meme: o shitz bring in out da french

 

angel: *face palm*

 

Charmante: did i see the word pretty

 

iamgod: yea like 6 texts ago

 

Charmante: dang i thought we were talking abt our very own angel

 

angel: you flatter me

 

iamgod: wHAT FIGHT

 

Baguette: long story, but apparently John is fighting Charles Lee

 

meme: that guys a douche

 

Baguette: oui. 

 

tertle: were here and im ready

 

spam: i gotchu boo

 

tertle: no spitting

 

spam: 

 

spam: fine

 

tertle: ok hes here gtg

 

angel: WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL RULES

 

spam: shhh dont break his concentration

 

[15 minutes later]

 

spam: wow a new record. took the teachers a whole 15 minutes to arrive and treat lee

 

tertle: i got him good

 

angel: go to the nurse, Laurens

 

tertle: …

 

tertle: fine

 

meme: 2 peas in a pod

 

angel: MARGARITA SCHUYLER YOU GO BACK TO CLASS

 

iamgod: MARGARITA????!?!!!??!??

 

meme: bye

 

iamgod: !!ok see u laters babe

 

spam: shit gwash is here

 

Baguette: you almost typed Daddy didn't you

 

spam: nO iM NoT hiS sOn

 

spam: gtg bye

 

angel: he totally did

 

Baguette: ik right

 

angel: i have a free period go pay attention, Gilbert

 

Baguette: no

 

Baguette: fine

 

angel: im the only adult around here aren't i

 

IMPORTANT: yes

 

angel: ..go to class

 

IMPORTANT: yes aunty

 

angel: and don't call me aunty

 

IMPORTANT: ok auntie

 

angel: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ go to class, D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dolokhov calling Angelica "auntie" is so cute haha


	11. ay ay ron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> burr is back

Baguette: hey i had a very good idea just now

 

spam: wat

 

_Baguette has added cold_

 

cold: why am I here… again?

 

spam: laf thought it a good idea. hey burr

 

cold: but why? Hey lex.

 

meme: hey ay ay ron

 

iamgod: iS THAT FROM

 

meme: yep:)

 

iamgod: that was so funny. really good.

 

_iamgod has changed their name to iamgood_

 

iamgood: and now so am i

 

cold: i’m guessing you’re sonya, peggy’s gf?

 

iamgood: u guessed correctly

 

cold: lafayette why did you add me?????

 

Baguette: i thought you were a good addition. mais on dirait que non.

 

cold: ik french you asshole

 

Baguette: peu importe

 

cold: i,, i don’t deserve this

 

meme: “i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

 

cold: yes that’s how i feel D:

 

meme: its a meme gdi

 

meme: as am i

 

iamgood: uVE LEaRnEd

 

meme: :3 :****

 

cold: ok well

 

angel: well if it isnt MR BURR!!!!!!11!!

 

spam: (sir)

 

cold: wat

 

angel: my god 

 

angel: was that sASs

 

cold: no ma’am

 

angel: ok welp. HAVE YOU SEEN HER? Actually ik you have

 

cold: 

 

cold: whoever are you referring to

 

angel: dont play games with me boy

 

Baguette: *whispers* dRAMA

 

angel: shut it french fry this is an interrogation

 

cold: idk who you’re talking about:::

 

angel: Theodosia. Bartow. 

 

cold: oh yeah i’ve seen her,

 

cold: you know she’s dating Jimmy Prevost right

 

spam: wHO cArEs

 

cold: you don’t get to talk lex.

 

spam: Go GeT hEr

 

cold: i’d rather wait for it

 

spam: did that help when you with Washingdad

 

cold: what

 

spam: LAF YOU ASSHOLE WHY DID YOU DO THAT

 

Baguette: dRAMA

 

Baguette: also its vvv funny haha

 

spam: ಥ_ಥ

 

angel: what did he do

 

spam: he did the stupid autocorrect shortcut thingy: ur cruel laf

 

cold: what about Washington

 

spam: when you asked for that position in student council did you wait for it

 

cold: no but

 

spam: and he gave it to you. so why is this any different

 

cold: sHE. HAS. A. BOYFRIEND.

 

angel: she doesnt seem to like him very much.

 

Baguette: i agree, she did not seem very… affectueux.

 

cold: affectionate. And yeah, you do seem to be right. I’ve known Theo for a couple years now and she gets even more kind and beautiful with each passing day.

 

spam: careful burr it might sound like you’re in love ;)

 

cold: maybe i am

 

Baguette: GASP

 

spam: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ THEN GO OUT THERE AND GET YOUR GIRL MAN

 

angel: yea i did some quick digging and… Jimmy is an _asshole_.

 

cold: thanks guys. I

 

cold: I think I will.

 

Baguette: this chat, bettering people’s lives since a month or so ago

 

spam: this chat did do a lot of good. lets keep it.

 

Baguette: ofc we will.

 

meme: BABE THAT WAS SO SWEET IM CRYING

 

meme: WHERE ARE U SONYA

 

iamgood: RIGHT NExT TO U ME TOOOOO

 

Baguette: love you two too

 

meme: <3

 

iamgood: <3

 

Baguette: <3

 

spam: <3

 

angel: im rolling my eyes so hard rn

 

meme: just. dO ITTTTT

 

angel: i hat e you

 

angel: <3


	12. Dear, Theodosia Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added Theodosia. Well, Angelica did.

angel: okay I cant take it anymore

 

_angel has added The_Oh_

 

The_Oh: Hi guys! What is this?

 

angel: hey girl what’s up

 

The_Oh: Nothing, I’m not doing anything rn, you?

 

Hawt: HEllo, mysterious lady

 

The_Oh: You are literally in my history class.

 

Hawt: you ruined the mystery

 

The_Oh: ..Suuuuure.

 

cold: oh hey Theo:)

 

The_Oh: Hi Aaron! You’re in this group chat?

 

cold: yep it was kind of an accident haha

 

_PM between angel and cold_

 

angel: why are you acting so weird just act normal:/:

 

cold: wHY dId YoU aDD HER?????????? IM freAKing OuT!!

 

angel: you used a smiley face. Omg Alex is gonna flip

 

cold: YOU DID THIS ANGELICA ISTG

 

angel: calm down just… text her normally. I’ll get Anatole to interact with her too.

 

cold: pls help

 

_the Great Chat of 2017_

 

The_Oh: Are you guys okay you went quiet:

 

Hawt: aaron doesn’t know what to say to you

 

Theo_Oh: why wouldn’t he know

 

Hawt: can’t say sorry angelica just pinched me shes so mean

 

The_Oh: Angelica what is this

 

cold: hey Theo sorry i disappeared on you i was making some

 

cold: hardboiled eggs

 

meme: “i..like my eggs… warm”

 

cold: shut up Peggy that was one time

 

angel: pegs honey: get out

 

angel: run along, adults at work here

 

meme: hOW DAREE YOUU

 

iamgod: i got her dont worry

 

meme: bi assholes

 

Hawt: hEY I DIDn’t Do AnYthing!

 

meme: bai*

 

meme: hahahahahahhahahahhahahA

 

meme: wow. ok. ***le bye***

 

The_Oh: OOOOOOOOOOkay..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Anatole accidentally came out. Good for him. Thanks Peggy.  
> Does this mean that Dolokhov has a real chance with him???  
> Have to read more to find out!:)
> 
> Didn't you like that Turn reference I put in there? Still my fav Abe moment but I didn't want to add him so I gave it to Burr.


	13. Dear, Theodosia Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Theo Pt 2  
> Sorry it's a bit short

_PM between cold and The_Oh_

 

cold: hey Theo sorry about that. I was acting weird. Sorry.

 

The_Oh: It’s okay Aaron. Your friends are funny haha.

 

cold: right. Friends.

 

The_Oh: So, why did Angelica add me?

 

cold: are you still dating Jimmy?

 

The_Oh: ? Yeah? But… I think I’m going to break up with him. I just can’t. Deal with him anymore, you know?

 

cold: oh. Yeah. 

 

cold: are you open to dating anyone else in the meantime?

 

The_Oh: Are you offering?

 

cold: shit sorry i did’nt mean.

 

The_Oh: No no! I’ve actually been meaning to ask you this for a while now.

 

The_Oh: Aaron Burr, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?

 

The_Oh: Aaron?

 

cold: YES Yes of course!

 

The_Oh: Ok cool! Since I have a car, I’ll pick you up at… 7? We’ll go to this little place I know. I was actually going to break up with Jim today, so this is perfect timing.

 

cold: c

 

cold: cool

 

cold: see you at 7 then

 

_PM between cold and angel_

 

cold: I DID IT

 

cold: well, Theo did it but

 

cold: thank you angelica.

 

cold: you truly are an angel:)

 

angel: thanks butt

 

angel: that was alex sorry. But thanks burr

 

cold: . Lex i hate you. Sm

 

angel: love ya 2 -ham

 

angel: hEY BURR! -turdle

 

cold: hey john. Take care of the little ham okay?

 

angel: definitely, burr. -turdle

 

angel: GTG bye Burr -angel


	14. Nierre and Danatole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of wrapping this up soon and I want all my ships to be fULFILLED so hereee we goooo

IMPORTANT: Anatole, you’re bi?

 

Hawt: i

 

Hawt: ye

 

IMPORTANT: Why didn’t you ever tell me??

 

pure: translation: How did i not know i had a chance with you

 

Hawt: whagt

 

IMPORTANT: Shut up Nat im not drunk

 

IMPORTANT: But Anatole why didn’t you tell me? You already know I’m pan

 

pure: really

 

IMPORTANT: i really don’t care if anyone in this group chat knows, let’s be honest 95% of it is not straight

 

pure: ..ok true

 

Hawt: what did she mean by you have a chance with me

 

IMPORTANT: i don’t want to do this now, here

 

IMPORTANT: meet me in our chem room during lunch

 

pure: iTS FINALLY HAPPENING

 

Hawt: WHAT IS ITTTT

 

IMPORTANT: wow you are really dense aren’t you

 

Hawt: ye

 

IMPORTANT: anyway hey nat

 

pure: ,,,what

 

IMPORTANT: when are you and you-know-who getting together??

 

pure: i TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE

 

iamgood: what is this?? ohhhhh you-know-whooooo

 

pure: Sonya istg don’t say anything

 

pure: you too Dolokhov

 

pure: or should i say Teddy’’’’’’’’

 

IMPORTANT: i h a t e y o u

 

Hawt: why it’s a cute name!

 

Charmante: yeah it is pretty cute :*

 

IMPORTANT: nuhhhh

 

pure: when is lunch btw

 

IMPORTANT: in an hour

 

pure: do you need help coming up with a plan

 

IMPORTANT: maybe

 

pure: do you want me to add Nikolai

 

IMPORTANT: isnt he still in Russia

 

pure: yeha but he’s coming next week

 

IMPORTANT: HE IS?????!!!!! SAY HI TO HIM

 

pure: Ofc I will! You two are still best friends right?

 

IMPORTANT: yEAH OFC

 

Hawt: i thought i was your best friend

 

IMPORTANT: no i just keep you around bc youre hot

 

Hawt: what

 

IMPORTANT: what

 

dead: Natasha likes someone?

 

Charmante: oh hellllo pierre

 

dead: nvm bye

 

pure: yes

 

pure: hey pierre meet me after school in That One Place

 

dead: i gotchu bye

 

pure: .bye.

 

Hawt: Dolokhov what are you trying to tell me

 

IMPORTANT: ThAtS wHy We ArE mEeTiNg Up!!!1!!!


	15. almost all the ships have sailed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More announcements, I guess. And just one more chapter to go!
> 
> I'm still making the Hélène/Angelica thing happen btw..

IMPORTANT: guess who just got a date with the hottest guy in town

 

spam: me

 

IMPORTANT: … me

 

Hawt: aw tanks

 

spam: but… but john!

 

IMPORTANT: Anatole tell him

 

Hawt: ANATOLE IS HAWT– HE SPENDS HIS MONEY ON GIFTS FOR HIS BAE

 

tertle: alex he looks like a ken doll but thanks

 

spam: te quiero, mi amor

 

tertle: te quiero también mi corazón

 

meme: gET A ROOM JFC

 

iamgood: bOOO COUPLES

 

angel: you two are literally the worst

 

meme: no eliza and maria are the worst

 

meme: ange you were there. you should know..

 

angel: pls don’t remind me

 

Elizard: THAT DIDNT NEED TO BE BROUGHT U P

 

red: it was gettin p hot and heavy and they just… walked into Eliza’s room w/o knocking. for people who dont know the horror they went through

 

meme: gET A ROOM

 

Elizard: WE HAD A ROOM

 

Elizard: KNOCK NEXT TIME

 

red: next time ;)

 

_meme has removed Elizard and red_

 

angel: was that necessary

 

meme: ye

 

_pure has removed Charmante_

 

pure: I have good news!

 

pure: Pierre and I are dating!

 

_pure has added Charmante_

 

dead: whoop

 

Baguette: IM EATING PIE FOR BREAKFAST ALEX JOHN GET OVER HERE

 

mulliDONE: It’s really good pie. George made it.

 

meme: GWash bAKES??

 

spam: done

 

Baguette: how did you get here so fast

 

spam: john drove

 

Baguette: ah

 

meme: sonya get over here we need to try this

 

iamgood: lessgo

 

meme: have no fear, im driving

 

Baguette: I have fear

 

spam: be careful

 

meme: yes mom

 

angel: PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN WHILE DRIVING MARGARITA SCHUYLER

 

iamgood: she wants me to tell you “yes mom”

 

angel: good girl

 

tertle: mmmmmmmmmmmm pie

 

spam: sssSSSSSSS

 

Baguette: SSSUGARRRRR

 

spam: SUGGGGGAAAAAAAAAR

 

tertle: omilord he actually screeched

 

mulliDONE: Man does he have a pair of lungs for such a small guy

 

spam: update: herc is now covered in flour

 

spam: update: washington is standing in the doorway looking perplexed

 

spam: update: peggy and sonya just pulled up. its a PIE PARTAY

 

Baguette: yEAY


	16. fin(ally Charmante x angel)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the endd
> 
> Burr makes a joke
> 
> Charmante x angel
> 
> We get to see Thomas and James. At the end. I love Lafayette (and Peggy)

Baguette: I don’t think there is any more dRAMA to be had in this group chat so…

 

pure: yeah literally everyone in this is dating

 

Charmante: nOT ME hoW couL d you nat????!!!!

 

angel: Im n ot e ithe r

 

Charmante: welp; now is as good as ever

 

angel: for what

 

Charmante: heeeeyyyy angelllica,,, would you want to maybe, idk, go out w me sometime?

 

angel: that could be arranged. Just lettin you know now Im a strong independent woman who dont need no man

 

Charmante: im not a man

 

angel: ;) ik

 

meme: sTAhP FliiRtingG

 

iamgood: just let em be ,

 

iamgood: they are into each other

 

iamgood: and they need to d a te 

 

meme: okei

 

angel: do i have ur approval pegs

 

meme: *sigh* fiiinE

 

angel: and you eliza

 

Elizard: im sQUEALING YAS ANGEL GET I T

 

meme: the Schuyler Sisters, everyone

 

mulliDONE: Plus hERCULES MULLIGAN!

 

spam: i read that as “plush ercules mulligan”

 

tertle: aha

 

Elizard: are you guys gonna go out now

 

Charmante: sure why not

 

angel: lemme check my schedule

 

meme: yOU DONT HAVE A SCHEDULE GO GET ER

 

Baguette: Now I think that is all the dRAMA

 

meme: i think ur right

 

iamgood: i think ur left

 

Baguette: ...I am, how you say, ambidextrous

 

spam: ,yes that’s how you say

 

Baguette: yas

 

Baguette: to prevent any gangs from forming,,,

 

meme: was that a direct threat on my personal life

 

tertle: pegs what - why would any gangs form

 

meme: shh dont worry about it

 

Baguette: I will now delete this chat

 

iamgood: bye bye chat :(

 

angel: your memeing days are over

 

meme: not really butt ok

 

cold: someone called

 

spam: hahahaha good one 

 

cold: i learned from the best. i won’t miss this. Goodbye.

 

_cold has removed cold from the Great Chat of 2017_

 

The_Oh: He’s totally gonna miss this.

 

mulliDONE: babae you can remove us now

 

spam: herc what

 

_Baguette has removed spam, tertle, mulliDONE, The_Oh, meme, iamgood, red, Elizard, angel, Charmante, Hawt, IMPORTANT, pure, and dead from the Great Chat of 2017_.

 

Baguette: alone again,

 

Baguette: naturally

 

Baguette: I know what to do

 

_Baguette has added geturownmacaroni and imsick to the Great Chat of 2017_

 

geturownmacaroni: wtf is this

 

Baguette: we know

 

imsick: What???? Who is this???? WHAT DO YOU KNOW

 

_Baguette has removed Baguette from the Great Chat of 2017_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHh thanks for reading,,
> 
> I'm done with this I guess...
> 
> I can cross first ff off my bucket list yeay

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments would prob help me... constructive feedback always welcome!


End file.
